Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
