Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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