Porn is love you can see.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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