Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do herpes really smell.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
