I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
