Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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