I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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