No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
