the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Someone signed my nipple.
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