just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
