I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
