I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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