She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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