I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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