maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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