Are we in a gay sports bar?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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