never play flip cup with pint glasses
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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