I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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