i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
