So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
