I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
