what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
