I cannot find my penis.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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