Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
