Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
