Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
