There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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