I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
