Reggie can tackle my bush.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize