Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
