my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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