I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
