So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
