where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
