Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
