He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
