yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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