I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
