I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
