i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
