And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
