I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
