I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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