If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
