So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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