I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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