I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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