BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize