Welp...herpes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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