I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
