But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize