Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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