UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
