you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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