wat bout pragnant strippers??
you guys were way drunker than both of me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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