we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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