There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You left your phone here
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