Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
