He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize