She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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