I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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