I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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