OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
