I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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