Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
