he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
