So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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